Wrapping up the 10th and most definitely most difficult week of motherhood so far, I wanted to be sure to document how this dramatic life change called motherhood has affected me so far.
It was yesterday morning, a lazy Sunday at home, when I paused to soak in the reality of my new family. My husband was walking Lucas around the house giving him a "tour". Mind you, this tour was SHORT no doubt, but it hit my heart like a ton of bricks. "This is Sadie. She's our dog. We love her... even though she wakes you up sometimes." "This is your giraffe. Do you want to pet him? I can't wait for you to give him a name. Maybe, George?" "This is our front door. It's weird and lets in lots of cold air." ... Maybe it's the hormones, or just my sappy side, but this little moment caught me and stood out as one I never want to forget.
Why? It reminds me that I am beyond blessed to have these two boys in my life. Yes, I've always loved my husband, but seeing him take on the roll of "father" has sent that love to another level. He is completely head over heels in love with our son. And he tells him that all the time. He jokes with him, talks to him about politics, sports, TV, reads to him every night, and puts that darn pacifier back in his mouth as many times as his majesty needs. Its in these moments that it hits me. This is what life is all about.
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Being a teacher, I get that kids teach you way more than you teach them. They test you, trample you, yell at you, and are dead honest. They are also sweeter, funnier, and more outgoing than I could hope to be. They push you to be better than you were yesterday and inspire you to do good.
Having children, I've realized, is much the same, but hits much closer to home.
I mentioned earlier that this week has been the most difficult. We visited the doctor 5 times in one week. J and I also caught a cold. Having a sick child is HARD. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I could not have gotten through this alone, and I give props to all you that have! Thankfully, we are on the upswing, are starting to feel better around here!
This is my last full week of maternity leave. These 10 weeks have been the most exciting, peaceful, and fulfilling weeks of my life and I know I will treasure them forever. I've learned so much from my son, and I know it has only just begun! I look forward to getting back to work, and to seeing my students and coworkers once again. But there is absolutely no doubt, I'm scared of what I might be missing. I tell myself that it will be good for the both of us. To have some time apart. And that spring break and summer break are right around the corner. He is in good hands, and I am beyond grateful for that. My husband is 5 minutes away. It will be okay.
So here's to spending the next week kissing tiny toes, playing peek-a-boo and taking way too many pictures... all while in my spit-up-covered robe. :)
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